Monthly Archives: March 2006

Want To Ask My Friend- part II-Yeah Yeah Whatever-

You think you are so smart. So good at whatever you do. You give lectures to ..whatever…but you know..what?..You are bad at relationships, you are bad with people…that’s why you always come back empty handed because you never try to clear misundersatndings…you take credit for whatever little you do making the other person who did so much, feel so wothless…you have been doing this right from the college days..when I and couple of friends..took all the pain..for getting something orgainised..and you smartly come and take all the crdit for it…making us look like a bunch of “good for notings” infront of others. You take responsibility, initiative so that people get the idea of who’s the boss..but when it comes to doing things you are no where to be seen…I want to shout at the top of my voice and tell are not doing the right thing….but I can’t becuase tommorrow you would go out and say that you helped me and I as a selfish person dumped you.

You desperately look for this guy’s attention and seek it by whatever means…even if that means creating a sorry picture for yourself..and he like an idiot thinks..what a poor state you are in…

You don’t get along with your parents becuase you want to have things your way…do whatever you want..go wherever you want…act foolish to prove your open mindness and misuse your liberty….that’s why you get to hear what you hear….

You don’t act your age..and think you are the smartest ass of all…..

I don’t like the way…you sometimes act as a teenager waiting to be kissed and showered with love….from her teenaged boyfriend…this does not suit all…this does not match your personality…you are no delicate darling….
you stink, you have a sharp tongue, you have body ordour, you have no sense of hygiene, I find you dirty sometimes, whatever bad you think, it comes true…
why are you so satanic…but I will stick around for the good part in you…


Aunty’s Push & Uncles Rub

Sarojini Nagar market full of aunties, DTC buses full of uncles.

Aunties push, Uncles rub…

Ok let me explain…

Aunties push you aside to get inside the shop which is already crowded…Aunties push so that they can plop on the seat of the bus. For that seat, ladies seat to be precise, they can even man handle you.

Uncles, desperate uncles would rub against you so that they can get the feel of a woman because their wives don’t give them any weigtage at home.

These creatures come in variety of shapes and sizes but usually with a big paunch and a huge bum. They stink also, well most of them.

They have it all: Big yellow teeth, bad breath, big bindi, a huge hankies, a big bag, a briefcase, jai mata di locket, gold hoops, bichua, gutkha etc etc…..

In wedding parties, they will put everything in their plate that they can see and then will waste half of it. They love to litter the roads with peanut shells in winters, and they also love knitting sweaters for pappu. They worry about pappu not studying for board exams and will not get science stream and then they treat neighbors with laddoos saying, ” Pappu pass ho gaya.”

Uncles love to see porn, they read eroticas and Aunties attend satsang, and perform Ramdev yoga. Uncles think of taking 33 plus Aunties still don’t bother about osteoporosis after menopause. Aunties love their achar and murabba and Uncles think of Mrs. Sharma’s Office ka dabba.

Still they make a successful couple. With all their differences they have learned to love each other. Uncle will still drool and rub against a girl his daughter’s age and Aunties will still cook at home and jostle and push to get inside the shop that mostly amaze.

They will still pack Uncleji’s lunch and put some achar murabba and Uncle Ji would still relish Mrs. Sharma’s Dabba.

I Want to Ask My Friends

How long can one blame his vulnerability for his weakness? Weakness to do wrong and coming out of it smartly blaming your vulnerability for it.
You sleep around with men, every man you come in contact with. And you blame your stagnant relationship for it, because it’s not taking you where you want it to go. Why can’t you just move on? You don’t care about the disease that you might contract with such sex performed under the cover of vulnerability. All you do it for is to enjoy it. Then why not name it lust, desire? It’s plain and simple. You are stuck with your own morality yet want to break all the shackles of it. You don’t know what you want out of life. And when you will lose whatever little you could save, you will either repent or die. Don’t do this, stop. You don’t need this. Try to come out of it.
No matter how much I try to help you, I can not help you much until I have your willingness. Life is not just getting married or jumping into bed.

And you, yes you. You did not tell me about your feelings but you knew it all about me. You went ahead and poured your heart out to this guy you met just 2 months ago. Why? So that you can win him by creating a sympathetic ground for yourself. But you are wrong. Relations are not built on sympathy. You will fall on your face again because you are not what you pretend. If you are not that strong why don’t you say so? What’s the harm in telling the truth?

May be I don’t make sense to you. But I make sense to myself. We the so called dare devils in our own sense of the word are cowards; afraid of telling the truth, afraid of admitting it.

You weak female, you have a loud voice, you shriek in public, you have this big mouth, you don’t hesitate of proclaiming that you have screwed so many men. You don’t hesitate foul mouthing. You try so hard to pretend that you don’t need them. But given the first chance you would cling to them like a monkey clinging to its mother. This is the truth and I know it. I know all about you. It does not matter what you say because I can hear the unsaid.

And you, empty from within, and still don’t admit. Why do you hide? Who are you afraid of?

STOP being an island, so unreachable.

Stop fooling yourself as it’s very obvious what you really are.
You all are living in a fool’s paradise.

If Animals Could Talk-Part 2

Oh No there comes the kids again, and they have stones in their hands. Where do I run? Where do I hide? Where is my mother? Oh! There she is, happily enjoying her siesta. woof woof, mother run run, the kids are here. My mother said in her sleep, “those rotten urchins, I will bite them some day. woof woof. Daisy lets go from here”. “Maa, lets go to Sheel uncles stairs, there no one will disturb us and we might get Gultu’s Happydog biscuit or may be Parle-G biscuits. Sheel uncle is very fond of us.”
So we decided to go to Sheel uncle’s stairs and rest there. But Sheel uncle did not feed us today. He seemed to be in a hurry. “Nevermind, maa lets go to the pile of garbage in the NDMC dustbin, we might get some food there.” Maa said, ” Daisy, you feel hungry all the time. But the dustbin must already be empty by now and even if its not then Kitty the cat must have eaten all the good stuffs”. “Maa, lets go and see.”

Last week, two of Pagli’s pups had died and their bodies were dumped in that dustbin.

So mother daughter duo, manage to find some scraps and have a satisfying breakfast which should keep their tummy full till evening.

“Wow, that black dog is really handsome. Wonder which colony he came from? Never saw him here before nor could smell his territory. Maa has no sex drive any more since she escaped from the NDMC sterilization camp. Though she could not escape from the operation. Poor maa. They picked up my brother Khujli also but he never came back. Dunno, what happened to him?”
“Hey Daisy, that black ugly Dog is looking at you, just be cautious, he should not get in to our territory.” ” Uffo maa, chilax, don’t be such a paranoid.” “Paranoid, what do you mean Daisy? I have seen life more than you, and what is this “Chillax”? So many times I have told you not to be friends with those dogs in the market.” ” Maa please, don’t start again. Market dogs are so good, whenever I am hungry they feed me with their share. Now lets go and take some rest. Its getting too hot and that black dog is also gone.”
“Humm, Ok lets go to Sheel Uncles stairs again. Maa, Gultu is so rich na. She never has to worry about food, nor does she have to worry about shelter.” Maa said, “Ya, Gultu is a rich dog but I have seen even richer dogs. They go to beauty parlour, travel in Cars.” Now c’mon, don’t lose heart”.
“Maa, maa…I am thirsty, its almost evening, I am going to have some water. Subzi wali Aunty must have kept water in the earthen pot.” ” Ok Daisy go, but you have not barked the whole day. The post man came, the gas wala came, the hawker came, but you neither chased them nor barked. I had to do all this myself. Don’t forget you are a dog and you gotta do this.” ” Ok maa, I will keep this in mind. Now can I go?” “Ya, ok go and no late nights for you, I know, you are going to meet those market dogs again.”
“Hey maa, see Sheel uncle is here, he has biscuits in his hands, ye ye…
woof woof…”hey Daisy wag your tail hard. Just the way I am wagging, it will make Sheel Uncle happy and he will know we are so fond of him.” ” Yeah Maa, see my tail, I am wagging it so hard.
woof woof woof woof

Chew, munch, munch……

“mmmm…these biscuits are so nice na Maa?” Now we will not have to worry about dinner also.

Another day passes from the Dogs life.

P.S. Daisy, her mother Kali, Khujli, Pagli all are my colony dogs. Very much a part of my life. See them everyday. Dozing, running around, playing, barking…….

If Animals Could Talk-Part 1

She comes late in the evening and would stand outside the iron grill gate for hours. Tired if she gets, she would sit but she would wait…for some one to come out because she konws, in this house she would get something to eat after a day full of abuses, kicking, stone pelting by small boys, hunger , running around etc.

Now she comes with her kids, 2 of them, really tiny and dirty but cute, unaware of the hardships they are going to face when they grow up. But this house would still be there to feed her and her babies as long as I live in this house, because when I feed her biscuits I see something that forces me to wait for her every evening till she comes. I see her saying,”hello, there, I have not eaten anything for the entire day, nor have my babies, could you be human enough to feed me something, anything. I shall be thankful to you for the rest of my life.”

Surprising Facts a Girl likes in Her Man.

Girls like to see her man shave his beard, and make faces in the mirror while doing so with a face covered with foam.
Seeing him roam around the house early in the morning all sleepy and grumpy.
Seeing him play with the dog, and with the kids.
When he is getting dressed up.
A girl likes her man stepping outside the bathroom all wet, and water dripping from hair.
seeing him comb his hair.
Girl likes her man screaming at the top of his voice while watching his favorite sport.
It amazes her, how smartly he solves all those math problems.
Girls like well groomed and nice smelling men.
Girls like chivalry, the way men care.
When the man is lost in his own thoughts.
When he is fast asleep
When he eats the food with full indulgence that she has made.
Girl likes to see her man wearing his Tie.
Girl likes it when her man is among his friends but still staring at her at every given chance.


Bite: The Dust
You have a voice,
Let them hear
You have Courage
Let them fear

Bite: The Truth
Hold your head high
With Determination & Grit

For your karma
Fight for dharma
Victorious You shall be

Self Pity
is too low for you
Don’t Stoop
Spine is straight
Thinking also should be

Bend if you will
Human you are not
Spine would be broken
Get Up you will not

You are Special

You search aisle after aisle. You go miles after miles. You visit shops after shops. Though you always run out of time. But today you took out time specially for someone, so that you can buy the perfect present. Why?
Because you want to see the face of that special someone light up with twinkling eyes and hear that someone special say in a voice full of pleasant surprise, ” You did it for me?”

You see the flowers, the trees, you see the rainbow in wonder. You hear the birds, you hear the thunder, you giggle at the child’s play. You see the water and feel the air, you feel the breeze, you see the clouds, and remain awstruck…ever wonder why?
Because I did it for you..because you are special to me.