I had second thoughts about writing this on a blog which is seen by so many people but then I thought it would be a good idea to put it here as this will enable all readers to put their suggestions on time management or stress management. I am under terrible stress. I am not depressed or unhappy but simply stressed.
I have a lot of work to complete and strict deadlines to meet which if unmet would put me under a bad light of inefficiency. The bad part is since I am in Bangalore and the head office is in Delhi, people in Delhi can’t see how much stressed we are. They are in continuous touch with the bosses and chances are the Delhi work pressure is what gets highlighted more often.
There was a time when I used to be the 1st person to reach work but not any more. I have not been on time since God knows when. One reason is if I sleep late I wake up late and get late. I have tried to sleep early and those days I have reached office in time if not on time. Why don’t I get to sleep early again is a question that’s needs an answer to be introspected.I don’t do late nights, I don’t watch TV still I don’t get to sleep early. To wake up at 6 in the morning I need to sleep at 10 in the night. I reach home at 7 which means I have precisely 2 and half hours to play with my dogs who are all alone the whole day, to make something for dinner and may be talk to my husband. I should hit the sack by 9:30 so that by 10 I am snoring. 2 and a half hours to do all the things that gives you pleasure or de-stresses you. The ticking clock in the mean time builds another pressure on you to go to bed early else dominos effect will take place. So the de-stressing also is closely guarded by a time.
My job is almost like a ticking time bomb which if not tended everyday for 9 hours without break will lead to back log explosion. I cant work at a stretch for more than 2 hours, I need to take mental breaks else I will get lost in my own fantasy world blankly staring at the PC. Which means I can only work 6 hours at the max in a 9 hours job where I come 1 hour late. Add 1 more to Stress.
I love reading, going out, meeting friends, partying, movies, organizing events, traveling and lazing around on a Sunday afternoon. I am not able to do any of these any more because week days I have to go straight home because of the 2 dogs that I have and sleep early, (at least try) and on weekends, I have a maid who would not come which means I am doing cleaning, mopping and washing, or I am carrying work home or I am tied up with other obligations which a marriage or a family or any other social engagement demands. Which means again no time to yourself where you would just be carefree ignoring the clock, the calendar and the presence of anyone else. May be some solitude is what I am looking for or may be some open spaces which I don’t get in Bangalore which itself is claustrophobic. A short trip to any peaceful place without jing bang also would help but where is the time?
I am happy but keeping in touch also is important. Keeping in touch comes with effort. Phone calls need to be answered, activities assigned to you are to be completed. Calling back to let the other person feel that we are equally missing them is also important. Keeping in touch also means that you call friends over or you visit them. I do that happily most of the time, but on the hindsight, it is important for me to have people around me , to be surrounded with friends…for what I don’t know though…
Here is the wish list that I want to have:-
- I want to reach office on time
- I want reasonable dead lines and reasonable work assignments.
- I want to be left alone once in a while but also want a physical proximity.
- I don’t want to be bothered with cleaning, washing, swabbing, basically want a reliable maid if she is intelligent than nothing like it.
- I want to just sit with a newspaper and read it for hours with a cup of nice tea without bothering about time and schedule and guilt of not doing anything at all.
- I want a vacation without the thought of work to be finished at office.
- I want to meet interesting people however, the people that I have been meeting in several groups, camps etc are most of the time boring.
- I want to live for my self with all selfishness at least once in a month, every month without being bothered or questioned.
I think we all suffer from a “Cinderella Syndrome” where everything needs to be done within a set time and everyone needs to be kept happy else hell will break lose. We all have become slaves of our Titan Watches.