To Who It May Concern

This post is an attempt to answer all those people read the so called feminists who consider Rakhi, Bhai Dooj and Karwachauth as “stupid” customs to keep the patriarchal system alive. In my defense I just have few things to say. In the past they must have started as a way of keeping the patriarchal system alive but if someone is doing it out of love and free will I don’t think any body should have the right to question.



I was asked by one such so called feminist, “Why do I follow such stupid customs?

Well to call a custom stupid  is the first stupid step you have taken to prove your stupidity because certain things which might look totally irrational to you may be close to someone else’s sentiments. For that matter celebrating birthdays is one such stupid custom. And then we talk about mutual respect and being tolerant but anyway there are far too many people who are dumb enough to not even understand that the sentiments behind a Rakhi and a Karwachauth is not Patriarchy but only love.



Also the question of sindoor, mangal sutra being sign of being married and possessed by a man; Well the answer again is free will. If some one wishes to do it I don’t think anyone should have a problem and if someone does have a problem and is itching to ask another question on “WHY” then that person is getting too close for comfort.


7 thoughts on “To Who It May Concern

  1. I agree, if you want to follow a custom out of your own free will its your own choice. Nobody has the right to question that.

    Yes if you are harming yourself by doing that kind of a custom — like killing yourself for someone then its suicide which is stupid.

    Or for example – Ritual sacrificing of humans – yes thats wrong 🙂 and illegal and I can have a problem with that even though it might be very close to your sentiment ( if you are a serial killer that is ).

  2. For that matter celebrating birthdays is one such stupid custom.

    Well written Snigs, I agree with ya & Vinayak! 🙂

    And then there’s a famous real life story attached with Rakshabandhan which proves its love. Dunno if you read it or not but I read it in school when I was a kid that queen of Mewar, Karmavati, sent a Rakhi to Mughal Emperor Humayun when Mewar was under siege by Gujarat’s governor Bahadur Shah and Mewar was loosing. Humayun on receipt of Rakhi became emotional & rushed to Karmavati’s aid but unfortunately when by the time he reached she had already committed jauhar with other ladies of the royal court. Humayun beat back Bahadur Shah but always regretted not reaching in time to save her sister.

    And there are other stories as well.

    I can’t imagine why would someone call Rakhi as promoting patriarchy, Karwa Chauth I can understand what they are driving at but not Rakhi. Rakshabandhan is all about females whereupon the brothers pledge to protect their sisters from all harm that may come to them!! Really one has to be quite a stupid person to call that promoting patriarchy!! 😉

    And yeah you raised good point about Birthdays. These so called feminists don’t have a problem celebrating Valentine’s Day (when they were with Guy 1 last year, are with Guy 2 this year & most probably will be with Guy 3 next year).

    Besides, feminists who talk about equality just sound hypocritic to me, since being a feminist means that the person on the extreme end & equality can’t be talked about from an extreme end!!

  3. Raksha Bandhan and Bhau beej are so made for women. Here goes:
    Bhau Beej (You guys call it Bhai Dooj): (from wikipedia) Sister blesses and cooks for the brother and “During lunch, the brother offers a beautiful gift from all his income” Repeat. All his income.
    Raksha Bandhan: The sister prays for the brother and the brother gives her a gift and promises to protect her. Hmm. Praying vs spending income and protecting her. Hmm. Tough decision. I’ll choose praying.
    I still think that Karva Chauth is sexist. The wife has to go without food for a day for the husband’s long life. That’s so different from birthdays! Every one has a birthday and every birthday boy/girl gets (GETS!) a treat on that day! 🙂
    When must the husband go hungry for his wife?

  4. @VJ:- Thanks for the comment. In your belief system may be thats what sisters expect from their brothers but the belief systen that I have I don’t do Rakhi/ Bhai Dooj with an expectation of a gift. IT’s ONLY LOVE.

    2nd, if you read the post CAREFULLY I have talked about FREE WILL and if you understand the meaning of the word you would not have left that comment about Karwa Chauth. It may look sexist but there are women who still do it out of LOVE. There are men who have their own ways to show thier love for their partners and am sure had there been any such male custom there would have been a lot of men doing it too.

  5. Snigdha, If I marry a girl who insists on fasting on Karva Chauth, I’ll argue with her and fight with her and plead with her not to fast that day. Reason: If she fasts then I will too, but I’m not sure I can go an entire day without food and water :-).

    But you’re missing the most important point of my comment. The birthday-boy GETS the treat not the other way around :-).

  6. To who it may concern-

    The whole idea of Rakhi comes from a patriarcal mind set!! It immediately segregates half the population “WOMEN” as objects in the house to be protected.Feminism is Anti structuralist and hence it is againt these tradations. It’s egalitarian- what applies to one applies to all. Tieing a RAKHI does not apply on MEN.
    You can’t argue a women is liberated from traditional idea….BY a traditional dont say you are liberated if you wear a sindoor and a mangalsutra coz the purpose of both was to brand women as properties and to supress them . So you wearing them
    To me it just basically says: “I am already oppressed, don’t oppress me any further. Don’t oppress me for being oppressed.”
    You need emancipation so that you can wear chains and serve your master without being called a slave.
    I m free to think its stupid, and you can be free to wear it or not, its up to you!
    I am not expecting you to change the way you think..but do give it a thot


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