Category Archives: Random Blabber

The Missing Humane

Today I twittered, “Humans are the worst parasite on earth. Our track record proves it and all our wars are to prove who the bigger parasite is.”

My mom always says, “It takes a lot of good deed to be born as a human. To be born as a human is the best a wandering soul could get.” And she is not the only one. All Hindu preachers and believers, who believe in the cycle of birth, believe in this statement. But I sometimes wonder what is so great about being a human. We kill, we torture, we are sadists, and we are nothing but parasite. We are feeding on our planet and killing her but we don’t care. We not only kill animals but skin them alive for their skin and fur. We slit their throats and wait for them to bleed to death so that their meat is no longer forbidden by some religious doctrine and is fit for consumption. If you think you should abide by the religious doctrine then let me tell you this, religion is manmade and your conscience is god given. So who should you rather abide by? Will the earth come to an end if the animal is killed in a less torturous way which may be forbidden by some religious doctrine? Will I die of cancer if I don’t get to eat fresh, live fish which is still gasping for air on my plate? Will the human race die of severe cold if I don’t get to wear fur? Do I really need that snake skin boots or that alligator skin bag which has a hefty price tag but is the price enough for that animal’s life? I understand turning a vegetarian won’t help because to make room for agriculture we will have to cut down all the jungles. I feel the approach lies in striking a balance somewhere. We don’t need any leather or fur for our existence; we also don’t need a bull fight or animas in circus. And in situations where the animal must die why can’t we kill it by giving the least painful death.

Who ever made “zero” was a very intelligent person because he or she knew that everything is a vicious circle. We need industrialization so we need land to build industries, we show carrots to people whose land we grab for making those industries, in return the big corporate houses hold the government to ransom because they know how much the money and a global image means to the government, we keep the people unaware, ignorant and poor and also fearful of caste, community and religion so that they never get to see the true picture, so that they never can think outside their own petty issues, so that we can show carrots in the name of reservation and quota and come to power. We wage wars to fight terrorism when we are the proud parents of the monster, we use our army and motivate them in the name of love for country so that they blindly lay their lives to save their nations in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and so on when their own orphaned son or daughter has no place to go to have a life of their dreams. We have babies after babies, then we need more houses more land to grow food, so we cut the jungles, we mine the forests, the dry up the lakes, then we feel the heat of global warming, we see animals dyeing and attacking humans, we see water shortage and impact of it on agriculture, we see bad crops, natural disasters due to deforestation, over industrialization and greed, we see farmers in loans and farmer’s body hanging from a tree. We see scarcity of food and price rise. We also see food imports and country plunging in to debts followed by civil wars and the government toppling over. Then comes the rich man with his aid masquerading as a generous country only to rule and loot, terrorism follows, war is declared, country in military coup, weapons are brought, banks become richer, more people are killed, even more babies are born, more land is required, more jobs to be created, more demands to be met…and thus goes the cycle…

I am not religious but I believe in God. I don’t believe that humans are the greatest creation of God rather the biggest mistake by God which is why He lost interest in the world after creating humans. His biggest mistake was to power us with more of intellect and very less of conscience. Had it been the other the round things would have been lot better. Or maybe we are meant to destroy the world the only thing is that we don’t know it and if that is true then we are doing a pretty decent job at it why else then would so many animals and indigenous tribes go extinct.

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Thankyou Bangalore

Not in a mood for flowery words. Just want to document few more of my (bad) experiences in Bangalore.

1. My maid was on her way to Frazer Town for a checkup. She could not find an auto so she kept walking because of which she started feeling sick and threw up. She stopped another reluctant auto and requested to take her to clinic as she was feeling sick. But the auto wallah refused and went away.

2. My building security guard does everything but guard the building. They are just alcoholic showpieces. One of them would ask for money at the drop of a hat.

3. My maid stopped a man who was carrying a big stick. She wanted the stick as she had dropped something on the ground floor roof which needed to be picked up with the help of a stick. Once she got that thing the man started asking her for 50 bucks. She told that man that he should have asked for money at the time when she asked him to lend that stick she would have said no. Also, all the hard work of picking the thing from the roof was done by her so she should not be paying him any money. Lot of commotion happened, our security guard refused to intervene. Later another person asked her to go home and not entertain that greedy man.

4. Bharat Gas delivery man comes, most of the time without a bill. He would ask for 370/- and we would pay him. This time he came with a bill which had 322/- written on it which was inclusive of VAT. The man asked for 350/- I said the bill says 322/- he said its 326/- 20 Rupees is his deliver charges. I told him that makes a total of 340 not 350. He took the money and went away. In our absence he has been taking 370/- instead of 322/- Moreover gas deliver is free of charge. There are no deliver charges attached. But I still paid him as knowing that I am in a corrupt city, this delivery guy may decide not to deliver the gas on time. Once he took 20 days of pestering for delivering gas.

5. The guys at the cash counter of most of these so called departmental stores are dumb. They don’t understand simple queries. On asking for a plastic fridge bottle I was handed over a pearl pet jar.

6. Coconut shells which are supposed to be waste are sold for 10/- for a KG.

7. Tele marketing people call and ask, “Tell me madam” To which I have to yell at them. “You have called me, you tell me.”
8. Kaya skin clinic calls and asks for certain madam X. I tell them its not her number anymore, and I am asked, if the person has gone out of Bangalore. Now, what does Its not her number anymore mean anyway?
9. My baby sitter gets stalked. There is this guy who keeps calling me on my cell, just like that. There is no dirth of jobless men here.

10. People get run over by trains on the railway track near our house.  Still the authorities won’t block that railway track or make a bridge over it.

Some good, smart person might ask me now, “Why am I still here?” Simon go back.
My answer to that is, “I am stuck here for a reason else I would have gone back long ago.”

Coffee Cup Conversation

 This is a story of 2 friends talking over cup of coffee. Nothing particularly interesting but they talk never the less becuase they love to talk. Lets call them Sally and Mary. So here is the conversation between Sally and Mary over cups of coffee, a story of, “Coffee cup conversation”.

 

Sally, “The coffee here is good.”

Mary, “Yeah and the waiter ever better.”

Sally, “Hmm! May be. My taste in men is different from yours. Ok tell me what kind of man do you like? I mean suppose you were married or living-in, what kind of man would you picturise yourself with?”

Mary, “Well, my man has to be my boss. I will be everyone’s boss but my man will be my boss.”

Sally, “interesting. Even I want to look at my man as a figure of authority. I dont like those mama’s pet or hen pecked husbands.”

Mary, “Neither do I. But even if I get a man like that it is not necessary that I would end up being with that man. I mean I belive in the concept of soul mates but your soul mate may not be the man you would end up falling in love with.”

Sally, “Interesting. But what do you mean?”

Mary, “See a man is not just an individual. He will come with his own sets of social, personal baggage which I might not be able to handle. So even if he is my soul mate I may not end up being with him. He may have a wife already, or may have an old widowed mother who would turn out to be a terrible mother in law. Knowing myself I wont get into all that.”

Sally, “Yes, I get your point. If God made soul mates. He surely did not make the social conditioning which acts as a repellent. God proposes and man disposes.”

Mary, “Yeah! Kind of. Hey there he comes again. Look at him, he is cute.”

Sally, “Stop staring at him. Hey did you see this NEWS before?”

Mary, “What NEWS?”

Sally, “This woman is seeking abortion rights because she is going to have a sick baby. She already is 7 months pregnant.”

Mary, “Really. I think she should be given abortion rights. After all its her body, her pregnancy.”

Sally, “I don’t think its about her anymore. The pregnancy is 7 months old which means its a live, moving, breathing baby, But I think she should be given abortion rights because knowing well in advance that she is going to give birth to a sick baby and then see the child die or suffer or not being able to live a normal life will be a bigger trauma for her and for the child. I am sure it must have been a difficult choice to make, afterall all their dreams, plans were surrounded by this pregnancy until they came to know about the medical condition of the unborn baby.”

Mary, “Yes, may be.”

Sally, “I think euthanasia should also be legalised in our country.”

Mary, “But it might be mis-used for property related issues.”

Sally, “Ya we also need stringent law enforcement agencies.”

Mary, “Ya and we also need to change so many redundant laws. I mean just look at the legal definition of rape. It is so sick. Only penile vaginal penetration is rape. Object insertion, anal sex, oral sex is not rape.”

Sally, “How sick and prudish is that. But what surprises me more is the reluctance on the government’s part. They will fight for quota, reservation, ram mandir, Amarnath shrine, religion, caste, community, they will fight for everything on earth but the grass root issues. Take the farmers suicide for example. Dr. Singh said, loans will be waived off and new loans will be disbursed. Arrey Bhai, the loans taken from the nationalised banks will be waived off what about the money taken from private lenders. And the old loans have still not been disbursed and they are talking about new loans now. How ridiculous?”

Mary, “Seriously, pass me the light.”

Sally, “You should try those ultra milds. They are really cool.”

Mary, “Hmm! When did you try those? You don’t even smoke.”

Sally, “I tried them at a restaurant. Just like that. Loved the sexy look of it.”

Mary, “Sexy looks does matter. I want a sexy man.”

Sally, “Yeah! But the waiter isn’t sexy at all.”

Mary, “I like Tom Cruise…”

Sally, “…and Aamir Khan too. But this movie Jaane Tu was a total bakwas.”

Mary, “Yeah, in fact I liked Ugli aur Pagli more. The way Ugli loved Pagli is so sweet and that is what I call true love.”

Sally, “So you want someone who would love you like crazy with all your faults.”

Mary, “I guess so.”

Sally, “OK, In that case try writing a mail to that film maker friend of yours. He is matured, looks decent, is interesting, will not be too much of a botheration, just what you want.  Ask him out, ask him to come to your city.”

Mary, “Good idea. I will write a mail to him.”

Sally, “When?”

Mary, “I will, I will.”

Sally, “Today?”

Mary, “OK. Today.”

Sally, “Right away.”

Mary, “OK. Right away.”

They open the laptop to write a mail to this guy, one more coffee follows and some more conversation.

Life goes on

Sushma came running down to the phone, it had been ringing for long.

 

 

Sushma pan tingly answered, “Hello”

Kavita, “Hi, how are you?”

Sushma, “Oh! You. Hi. I am good. Tell me what’s up?”

Kavita, “I just called to chit chat. Have nothing else to do in life so thought might as well talk to you.”

Sushma, “Good that you called. Even I have nothing else to do in life. Basically I was also sitting in front of the TV to kill time.”

Kavita, “Hmm…life has become so mundane, isn’t it? I mean all that we are left to do is run a house. Do never ending chores. Chores after chores.”

 

Sushma, “Yes. Boring chores. I so much want to get rid of them. I wonder why am I so bored in life?  I mean before I got married I used to do all these things for myself but it never looked like a chore.”

 

Kavita, “That is because when you were single you had the option of not doing this if you did not want to.”

 

Shushma, “Hmm! I guess you are right. So what else in life?”

 

Kavita, “Nothing much, Suresh keeps busy these days at work and I feel all the more lonely.”

 

Sushma, “But the baby must be keeping you busy?”

 

Kavita, “Oh Yes, pretty much but sometimes the baby gets on my nerves. If I am trying to read a book I can’t do that because I always need to keep an eye on the baby. There are so many things I simply can’t do because there is a baby at home. It’s been so long since I traveled, read a book or did something that I really like doing. Sometimes I have to feed the baby, sometimes clean the potty, rest of the time there are CHORES that I have to finish.  Oh! That reminds me, I have loads of clothes to wash.”

 

Sushma, “ That should be easy, you got a machine.”

 

Kavita, “Yeah, but taking the clothes out of the machine, putting them on the cloth line, fetching them back  and arranging them in the cupboard is an exercise. Talk to you later. Bye.”

 

Sushma, “Ok take care. Bye.”

 

Sushma hung up and started reminiscing her being single days. She had so much time then. She could do anything that she wanted.  She could read, paint, watch TV, go for a walk, sleep as long as she wanted. But now things have changed so much. She is in a very happy marriage and its also not that her husband asks or expects her to do things but there is something inside her which  would not let her keep things all messed up. She simply can not overlook the house when there are jobs to be finished. She went to the kitchen made some tea for herself and sat down to read the newspaper when suddenly the door bell rang.

 

It was the courier that she had been waiting for. She had applied for a modeling assignment long time back. She had always been fond of facing the camera and be right under the spotlight. She got the assignment too but had been postponing it because her marriage was in the pipeline then and later the family obligations kept her busy for a while. Now that she was settled in the new set up she thought this is the time to re-start a career and do things that she had always enjoyed doing.

 

She opened the envelope. This was the last letter from the agency. If she did not come to meet them and sign the contract the assignment will be given to someone else. At the bottom, there was a hand written note of her favorite photographer with who she had a very good professional relationship. The note read, “Sushma, this is the maximum I could do. They wont wait any longer. I requested them to give you at least 15 days more but they said you got to meet them in 2 days. And yes, last time I saw you at the grocery shop you had put on a little weight. Is it still the same?”

 

Sushma rushed to the weighing scales, it showed her a number which she had never seen before. She would not be able to lose that weight in 2 days. No way. 10 kgs is not something you lose in 2 days.

 

She kept thinking and doing multiple calculations if there is anyway she could get back in shape and re-start her career. She tried calling her husband but he smsed back saying, “In a meeting.”

 

She went to the study, sat on the PC, wrote an e-mail to her favorite photographer, searched the net for some over the counter anti depressant, some psychiatrists then started dusting the computer which was gathering dust. She went down to every nook and cranny of the house and started cleaning. It was hot summer of Delhi. Her body was tiring quickly, her throat parched but she kept doing the chores, washing, mopping, cleaning the dishes, receiving letters, paying bills on line, making grocery list, cutting vegetables for dinner. Finally when her body could not take it any more she went to the fridge, took out the last piece of chocolate cake, ate it all and wept like a child looking at her old photo on the wall by then it was time already to start preparing dinner.

 

 

Ode to Bangalore

If I had to lead my life without you O’Bangalore, my life will be Delhi, my days will be hotter

If I had to lead my life without you O’ Bangalore, my life will be in Delhi, my monsoons will be wetter

I will save money and travelling woos

Let me also say this to you

Nothings gonna change my love for you

After all here I found love and life too

Speak Hindi and make better food will you?

Mend the roads and traffic chaos too

Nothings gonna change my love for you

You gave me my love and life back too

So What all you have is big Hype

You took me off my feet with a lot of swipe

If I had to lead my life in Delhi

I will be closer to home, I will save a lot of money

If I had to lead my life, it has to be in Delhi

She has all the wows, she has all the oomph

But dont’t worry darling Bangalore

Finally am in love with you too

So hold me now, mend the roads and the traffic chaos too

Stop cutting trees and stop selling crap

Stop all that Hate Northy slogan and badge

coz, nothings gonna change my love for you

so what you are all hype and poopoo

Auto wallas here are so arrogant

The men are lecherous, they all have stiff groin

Customer service non existent,

Good Food non eligible in resturants

All I have is crosses and Mains

Where I get lost and look for my Sane

Then Airtel gives automated calls

13 times to make my sanity fall

To make matters interesting

The calls are all in Kannada recording

When I call 121, they refuse to offer a solution

Then I bang my head on the wall

Followed by a post on blog

which gets me comments that read “we hate you all”

labelled as job stealers and northy

I now have doubts on my worthy

BUT

Nothings gonna change my love for you

Coz I found my love and my life too

So what potato costs 20 bucks

Mutton 200 and Onion 25, O Shucks

Hold me now, mend the road and traffic signals too

I cant live a day without thinking of you

I will miss the Chamrajpet Charles and Sultan School of Speechaaa….too

The right-aa the Left-aa and the orange gajra to name a few

No THING…gonna change…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Extraordinary Life

I lead a simple and ordinary life. I wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, go to work, check my mails, day dream, come back, play with my dogs, spend some time with Vinayak and go to bed to repeat the same task tommorrow. In all its ordinaryness, the extraordinary things make my life ‘simply” beautiful.

Take:-II

I wake up at the sound of the alarm, turn it off, check the time, do a mental mathematics in fraction of a second to know how much more can I sleep, turn around, Vinayak is still by my side, put my arms around him, doze off…

Vinayak wakes up, gets ready to walk the dogs, kisses me goodbye, I sleep for somemore time before I finally wake up, puppies are back, all healthy and playfull, they lick me, jump on me, Vinayak hugs me again, says that he loves me atleast 10 times, we eat breakfast together, go to work together, I kiss him goodbye, I keep thinking about him the whole day, check my mails, reply, procastinate, work, make plans, wait for Vinayak to pick me up, kiss him again on seeing him, we reach home, puppies over powering us, have tea together, talk a lot, love each other, fall asleep in each others arms…

 

That’s my life, simple, ordinary..but isnt happiness lies in simple things of life?

How Do I manage?

deadline1.jpg 

I had second thoughts about writing this on a blog which is seen by so many people but then I thought it would be a good idea to put it here as this will enable all readers to put their suggestions on time management or stress management. I am under terrible stress. I am not depressed or unhappy but simply stressed.

I have a lot of work to complete and strict deadlines to meet which if unmet would put me under a bad light of inefficiency. The bad part is since I am in Bangalore and the head office is in Delhi, people in Delhi can’t see how much stressed we are. They are in continuous touch with the bosses and chances are the Delhi work pressure is what gets highlighted more often. 

There was a time when I used to be the 1st person to reach work but not any more. I have not been on time since God knows when. One reason is if I sleep late I wake up late and get late. I have tried to sleep early and those days I have reached office in time if not on time. Why don’t I get to sleep early again is a question that’s needs an answer to be introspected.I don’t do late nights, I don’t watch TV still I don’t get to sleep early.  To wake up at 6 in the morning I need to sleep at 10 in the night. I reach home at 7 which means I have precisely 2 and half hours to play with my dogs who are all alone the whole day, to make something for dinner and may be talk to my husband. I should hit the sack by 9:30 so that by 10 I am snoring. 2 and a half hours to do all the things that gives you pleasure or de-stresses you. The ticking clock in the mean time builds another pressure on you to go to bed early else dominos effect will take place. So the de-stressing also is closely guarded by a time. 

My job is almost like a ticking time bomb which if not tended everyday for 9 hours without break will lead to back log explosion.  I cant work at a stretch for more than 2 hours, I need to take mental breaks else I will get lost in my own fantasy world blankly staring at the PC.  Which means I can only work 6 hours at the max in a 9 hours job where I come 1 hour late. Add 1 more to Stress. 

I love reading, going out, meeting friends, partying, movies, organizing events, traveling and lazing around on a Sunday afternoon. I am not able to do any of these any more because week days I have to go straight home because of the 2 dogs that I have and sleep early, (at least try) and on weekends, I have a maid who would not come which means I am doing cleaning, mopping and washing, or I am carrying work home or I am tied up with other obligations which a marriage or a family or any other social engagement demands. Which means again no time to yourself where you would just be carefree ignoring the clock, the calendar and the presence of anyone else. May be some solitude is what I am looking for or may be some open spaces which I don’t get in Bangalore which itself is claustrophobic. A short trip to any peaceful place without jing bang also would help but where is the time?

 I am happy but keeping in touch also is important. Keeping in touch comes with effort. Phone calls need to be answered, activities assigned to you are to be completed. Calling back to let the other person feel that we are equally missing them is also important. Keeping in touch also means that you call friends over or you visit them. I do that happily most of the time, but on the hindsight, it is important for me to have people around me , to be surrounded with friends…for what I don’t know though…

Here is the wish list that I want to have:-

  1. I want to reach office on time
  2. I want reasonable dead lines and reasonable work assignments.
  3. I want to be left alone once in a while but also want a physical proximity.
  4. I don’t want to be bothered with cleaning, washing, swabbing, basically want a reliable maid if she is intelligent than nothing like it.
  5. I want to just sit with a newspaper and read it for hours with a cup of nice tea without bothering about time and schedule and guilt of not doing anything at all.
  6. I want a vacation without the thought of work to be finished at office.
  7. I want to meet interesting people however, the people that I have been meeting in several groups, camps etc are most of the time boring.
  8. I want to live for my self with all selfishness at least once in a month, every month without being bothered or questioned.

 I think we all suffer from a “Cinderella Syndrome” where everything needs to be done within a set time and everyone needs to be kept happy else hell will break lose. We all have become slaves of our Titan Watches.