Monthly Archives: March 2010

The Missing Humane

Today I twittered, “Humans are the worst parasite on earth. Our track record proves it and all our wars are to prove who the bigger parasite is.”

My mom always says, “It takes a lot of good deed to be born as a human. To be born as a human is the best a wandering soul could get.” And she is not the only one. All Hindu preachers and believers, who believe in the cycle of birth, believe in this statement. But I sometimes wonder what is so great about being a human. We kill, we torture, we are sadists, and we are nothing but parasite. We are feeding on our planet and killing her but we don’t care. We not only kill animals but skin them alive for their skin and fur. We slit their throats and wait for them to bleed to death so that their meat is no longer forbidden by some religious doctrine and is fit for consumption. If you think you should abide by the religious doctrine then let me tell you this, religion is manmade and your conscience is god given. So who should you rather abide by? Will the earth come to an end if the animal is killed in a less torturous way which may be forbidden by some religious doctrine? Will I die of cancer if I don’t get to eat fresh, live fish which is still gasping for air on my plate? Will the human race die of severe cold if I don’t get to wear fur? Do I really need that snake skin boots or that alligator skin bag which has a hefty price tag but is the price enough for that animal’s life? I understand turning a vegetarian won’t help because to make room for agriculture we will have to cut down all the jungles. I feel the approach lies in striking a balance somewhere. We don’t need any leather or fur for our existence; we also don’t need a bull fight or animas in circus. And in situations where the animal must die why can’t we kill it by giving the least painful death.

Who ever made “zero” was a very intelligent person because he or she knew that everything is a vicious circle. We need industrialization so we need land to build industries, we show carrots to people whose land we grab for making those industries, in return the big corporate houses hold the government to ransom because they know how much the money and a global image means to the government, we keep the people unaware, ignorant and poor and also fearful of caste, community and religion so that they never get to see the true picture, so that they never can think outside their own petty issues, so that we can show carrots in the name of reservation and quota and come to power. We wage wars to fight terrorism when we are the proud parents of the monster, we use our army and motivate them in the name of love for country so that they blindly lay their lives to save their nations in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and so on when their own orphaned son or daughter has no place to go to have a life of their dreams. We have babies after babies, then we need more houses more land to grow food, so we cut the jungles, we mine the forests, the dry up the lakes, then we feel the heat of global warming, we see animals dyeing and attacking humans, we see water shortage and impact of it on agriculture, we see bad crops, natural disasters due to deforestation, over industrialization and greed, we see farmers in loans and farmer’s body hanging from a tree. We see scarcity of food and price rise. We also see food imports and country plunging in to debts followed by civil wars and the government toppling over. Then comes the rich man with his aid masquerading as a generous country only to rule and loot, terrorism follows, war is declared, country in military coup, weapons are brought, banks become richer, more people are killed, even more babies are born, more land is required, more jobs to be created, more demands to be met…and thus goes the cycle…

I am not religious but I believe in God. I don’t believe that humans are the greatest creation of God rather the biggest mistake by God which is why He lost interest in the world after creating humans. His biggest mistake was to power us with more of intellect and very less of conscience. Had it been the other the round things would have been lot better. Or maybe we are meant to destroy the world the only thing is that we don’t know it and if that is true then we are doing a pretty decent job at it why else then would so many animals and indigenous tribes go extinct.


Because you are not worth it.

Poor people are not worth a beautiful skin or a beautiful body that is why all these beauty products are priced at a premium rate so that only a particular section of the society remains worth it. How else would Mrs. Lal look younger than her maid Lalli? After all not everyone can afford a cream worth Rs.650/- or a monthly facial worth Rs.1500/-

But the scene is not that bad as you might think. The unorganized sector of domestic maids is also seeing the economic boom, at least in metros. That is why, my maid could go to a neighborhood  parlor to get threading done, she could ask the tailor for the making charges of a dress which she saw in Vogue, she could be picky about the Almond drops and Fructis shampoo and the Ponds cream.  Am I jealous? Well a little bit. After all who would feel happy to be clubbed with her maid and being seen at the same parlor sitting next to each other? Snobbish? Yes it is and that is why I believe, Socialism, Marxism are  failed theories because there would always be class divide and we shall ensure that the divide remains. How else would we feel special and a little “hat ke” ?  So what if my maid has dinner with me on the same table and eats the same food, so what if we watch TV together and sometimes I would cook continental for her which she would hate, so what if she once in a while sips port wine with us? I still cannot be seen at the same parlor with her. It’s a social crime.

The maids are trying hard to dress like their madams, in Capri and makeup. They try hard to ape us like we ape the phirangs but can they win? May be not today but after few generations later, they will. As long as we have enough open land where they can go to poo, till that time we will remain their Madams. The day they get a western commode in their homes we will lose whatever little luxury we have. Therefore it is very important for us to buy even bigger and pompous real estate, huge cars and expensive holidays. And then, when they become like us, we would show them our austerity drive, our fight for a social cause and our Botox and our B job.

You see the race will never end, someone will always try to catch up with us and thus it is more important for us to run even faster. The faster we run, the difficult it is for anyone to catch up and be like us. So we have to keep the prices high. Till then they can stick to shampoo sachets and we will stick to our hair extensions.

To Pop or not to Pop


Morning-after pills should be back on air. And not just private companies but even the Union health ministry should advertise them.

This is the view of a four-member expert committee set up by the Drug Technical Advisory Board (DTAB) recently to assess the pros and cons of allowing advertising of emergency pills.


I welcome this idea because it will only empower women. Instead of waiting for their male partners to be considerate enough to get a rubber, now women can take a decision on emergency contraception.  The use and side effects of it though, should be clearly stated in the advertisement to prevent its misuse. I also have a feeling that many men would insist women on having the drug rather than them using a condom. Therefore it will be again on the woman to say NO in case she does not want to pop a pill.

What was more interesting than the NEWS was the comments section where people have expressed their concern that advertising emergency contraception for women will be bad for our culture and this will encourage pre-marital sex thereby earning bad name for the respective families. I feel like asking these ignorant concerned people, “Which age and time do they live in?” Pre marital sex is a reality as much as adultery and these pills will only help lessen the number of wanted pregnancies and reduce the abortion related deaths which is far more serious than “earning a bad name for the family”

I also feel that I&B ministry should seriously start censoring and banning TV serials which are regressive in nature.  These TV serials which are mostly watched by people who can relate to these ideas, do nothing but reconfirm their already regressive opinion on how a woman should behave and be treated.

I have ample examples to quote; Do Hanso Ka Joda, where the mother in law is continuously harassing her young, docile daughter in law, in Palko ki Chaon mein, the heroine is always crying and is blamed for everything bad, in Pratigya, the girl is being sexually harassed by a man but the family is simply helpless to be able to do anything. In all these serials the women and her family is a victim waiting for some knight in shining armor or some miracle or may be after some 100 more episodes the director will decide to show how the woman of the serial has been able to win the heart of her mother in law with her enduring patience and love there by reconfirming the idea that “aurat to sahanshilta ki moorat hai.”There is this promo going on about how a childless woman cannot do “god bharai” as if the only job sanctioned to woman is to bear children. The list is endless.

Similarly, the regressive advertisement of fairness creams which shows that a person’s success depends on skin colour is extremely racial in nature thus these should be pulled off air.

In fact, all these “sanskar ke rakhwale” should form another “sena” to fight against these serials which show women in bad light rather than worry about emergency contraceptive pill and leave that decision on the women to pop or not to pop.

Swamiji’s Orgasm

I don’t understand what is the big deal if the swamiji had been having sex? What was the need to catch him redhanded behind closed doors with another consenting adult female?  I mean, he is a human too, with mortal need for pleasure. Though I don’t know if he ever said that he was a celibate. The only objection I have in the whole story is, if swamiji was just an ordinary man like all of us then there was no need for him to pretend to be holier than thou.  He could have found a simple job and could have had peaceful orgasms, one after the other.  But maybe he wanted all the sandalwood, all the donations and an orange robe to bed pretty actresses.

Here’s the TOI Video